I`m Glad I`m A Woman

I`m glad I`m a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don`t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don`t brag to my buddies about my erections. I won`t drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don`t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down! I won`t grab your hooters, I won`t pinch your butt. My belt buckle`s not hidden beneath my beer gut. And I don`t go around "re-adjusting" my crotch, or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch. I don`t belch in public, I don`t scratch my behind. I`m a woman you see-I`m just not that kind! I`m glad I`m a woman, I`m so glad I could sing. I don`t have body hair like shag carpeting. It doesn`t grow from my ears or cover my back. When I lean over you can`t see 3 inches of crack. And what`s on my head doesn`t leave with my comb. I`ll never buy a toupee to cover my dome. Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side. I`m a woman, you know-I`ve got far too much pride! And I honestly think its a privilege for me, to have these two boobs and squat when I pee. I don`t live to play golf and shoot basketball. I don`t swagger and spit like a Neanderthal. I won`t tell you my wife just does not understand, or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band. Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep, then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep! Yes, I`m so very glad I`m a woman, you see. Forget all about that old penis envy. I don`t long for male bonding, I don`t cruise for chicks. Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick. I`m a woman by chance and I`m thankful, it`s true. I`m so glad I`m a woman and not a man like you!

发布日期: [2004-3-29 7:04:10]


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